awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
