It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
