the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
