ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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