Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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