Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
