i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
