Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
