Do you still have your period?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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