**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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