I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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