Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
