The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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