my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
