I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
home. puking in laundry basket.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
