I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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