i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
