Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
