I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
