So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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