I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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