Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just found puke in my bra..
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize