My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
