covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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