Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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