Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Your penis caused this!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize