We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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