I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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