Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
where does the pee come out of this thing
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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