That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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