i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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