so that wasnt chicken after all
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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