He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
