I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I understand Curling. That high.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
