My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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