Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Kiss
Puke
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I cut my penus on the lid.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
