Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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