to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
