ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize