I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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