i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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