dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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