And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
