woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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