just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize