He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
