Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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