i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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