You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
