My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize