I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
