I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
