I am puke
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My vagina is very pro this idea
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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