why didn't you poke me back
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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