There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
