I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
