There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
