we made out on top of his cat.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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