its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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