I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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