i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
