ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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