Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
