yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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