just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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