if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize