my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
