No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize