obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
