Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
