people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
