I can't watch pbs sober anymore
too bad you live with your parents still
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
