can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
