If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
