But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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