I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Sext me about skeletons
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
