I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize