I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
