Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
