Kiss
Puke
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
