I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
