Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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